Senor Frog's Is Hopping

This post, should you receive it, comes to you via the Mexican internet. Apparently not all internets are created equal, contrary to the popular belief of those who think that every answer to life is on Google.

Now don’t get me wrong. Mexico is a wonderful place to be in the winter time. The sun is continually shining, the sound of the ocean is calming, and random people are offering to massage my feet. Actually, I don’t like that last part. Why would I want some stranger touching my foot? Or, even worse, why do they want to touch my foot? You could say it was the money sure, but there isn’t enough money in the world.

I could tell you about how I went to see the jungle, or went parasailing, or maybe saw a donkey show. But the truth is, I haven’t done any of those things. Not that I want to see a donkey show, but it’s one of those things we college students are SUPPOSED to do when we come here. Kind of like how we are supposed to drink tequila while singing, “1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila....FLOOR”. No, the highlight of my trip has been videoing a couple parrots flying over my head, lying on the beach getting some much needed R &R after all the long nights of partying and studying with the help of Dunkin “Gets America Running” Donuts, and finally watching a man get rescued on the beach.

Why was I standing there watching the man get rescued? For starters, I don’t consider myself a good swimmer. As much as I’d like to imagine myself being a super hero, I am not. This is actually the ONE situation where Aquaman would have been helpful.  Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t help because everyone else besides the life guards (who were running in Bay Watch fashion) were just staring and watching. Actually, one guy did try to help, and only ended up being a second person for the life guards to help. Moral of the story: next time you want to help someone in danger, don’t. (Kidding obviously, but do seriously consider if you can really help)

The nights are slightly boring. Why’s that you ask? Well when you’re on vacation with your parents you can’t exactly go clubbing or anything, not that I really would, but it’s nice to pretend right? Because I’m in another country, Hulu and sites of that nature won’t let me catch up on any of my favorite TV shows which is a bit frustrating. 

It’s probably a sign I should spend less time on the computer, but I have been reading about a book a day and didn’t bring enough books with me to last the entire time. I’d say this bad planning on my part was a circumstance of this one time, but again I don’t want to be a liar. I should probably work on not procrastinating so much...starting tomorrow.

There is a plus side though. All the reading I’ve done lately has made my head swell with the desire to do some writing of my own again. So you all get to suffer through a bunch of posts just like this one again! Oh joyous day!

I Hate It

Recently on Facebook I've noticed a bunch of statuses like “ I like it on the kitchen table”. Wondering what these statuses were about, I asked a few friends until I finally got an answer. It was in response to the question “Where do you like to leave your handbag when you get home?”. When I asked a few friends who had made it their status if they knew why they were responding to that question or where it came from, they had no clue.

Eventually, I did my own research and found out that it was a movement started to raise breast cancer awareness. Great cause , except one problem. If no one participating even knows what the cause is about, how exactly does it help raise awareness? Most people are only making it their status because they can’t dare be out of the loop.

I have said this before and I will likely say it again, that taking action on Facebook for a cause rarely accomplishes anything. All it really accomplishes is giving you a false sense of accomplishment. Joining one of those groups where they say they will donate x amount of money for everyone who joins is 99 % of the time totally bogus.

In general, I’m fascinated by how blindly people follow trends these days. It makes me worried that if the wrong thing were to become trendy, suddenly people could be supporting causes that  have bad consequences. I am not saying I am guilt free of this need to be trendy, because I was morbidly curious myself as to why this was so many peoples' facebook statuses.

Maybe it’s because I recently saw the movie The Social Network (which was amazing by the way), but the powers of social networking on the internet never cease to amaze me. Our generation updates each other about what we ate for breakfast via tweet (who cares if I had Fruit Loops for breakfast), what we did last weekend with pictures on facebook, and just about every detail you could want to know (or not know) about a person’s life. We all feel the need to constantly share our thoughts, which I realize I am just propagating by having a blog...but sue me.

Basically my recommendation is we should start putting more thought into these things, instead of just following the trends. But then I doubt that will ever happen, so in the meantime I will be looking to apply for a job at a social networking site. The matrix is slowly becoming a reality, our lives slowly becoming dictated by computers. I know, the former computer nerd (or current depending on how you look at it) is making this comment on his blog, but we already covered the fact that I’m hypocritical. 

I Wanna Soak Up The Sun

So, I basically just announced to the entirety of the internet that I used to love that one Sheryl Crow song. Greaaat. Anyway, as many of you may have noticed it has been hot as hell in Ithaca this week. Let me repeat that for emphasis: It has been hot as hell IN ITHACA.

This is the same school where people joke that there are only two seasons : August and winter. Granted,it’s only September now, but I’m already hoping for snow. I’m sure by the end of a typical Ithaca winter I’ll be wishing for the snow to be gone, but when my dorm room feels like a sweat lodge, some snow would be appreciated. The heat makes it hard to focus ( or maybe that’s just me blaming some latent A.D.D. on the heat), and just generally makes me feel sick.

The fact that it keeps reaching 90 or so in Ithaca must be some kind of record. I thought the highest temperatures we were supposed to get here were about -10 degrees F, and that we were going to be taking dog sleds to class. I was also led to believe that I would run into lots of Eskimos on campus.

It’s a shame we aren’t a nudist college, or the Nelly song “Hot in Here” may totally apply here. Then again, I suppose I should be happy that we aren’t a nudist college, because that means the professors would be as well.  The only people I could see benefiting from everyone being naked would be bio majors who are studying anatomy.

My solution to the heat is make friends with someone who has an air conditioner,or else try to find Mr. Freeze from the Batman series, he seems like a pretty “chill” guy.

Until next time (if the heat hasn’t melted my brain in which case it’s been a great run).

Tonight On ESPN: The Graduates!

I just recently came back from my sister’s graduation ceremony, which don’t misunderstand me was a fun time. However, I couldn’t help noticing that before the ceremony started, they were trying to pump the crowd with loud music as if we were all at a baseball game.Which raised the question: What if graduations were more like a sporting event?

An announcer would say things like “Now entering from left field, your MVP, with a 4.0 GPA over the span of his entire career: Tom “Has no life” Whiiiiiiiite!”. Tom White would then come up to the podium and give a speech: “ It’s been a long year. We all know how I had to battle the injuries of mental block and brain freeze, but I stayed tough. When the professors threw a curveball at me, I knocked it out of the park! My paper writing skills are unmatched, and no, I did not need to take steroids like certain other students to accomplish my feats.”

The rest of the graduates would jog out from left field to the tune of “Enter Sandman” to receive their diplomas/medals. The starting lineup would be composed of Tom White and his fellow overachievers, while the bench would be composed of the students who blew off their work in favor of other pursuits such as the very important task of watching funny youtube clips at three in the morning. In the middle of the graduation ceremony, there would be a half-time show complete with T-shirt rocket launchers. One lucky fan would be selected to come on the field and shake the hand of Mr. White.

Unfortunately, this is not the way real graduations work. The ceremonies are rather long and boring, and do little to keep you entertained. However, parents/friends/families did run onto the field which I found obnoxious. At a wedding, you don’t see people running up to the altar to tell the newlyweds how proud they are of them.

 Why should graduations be any different? This was the graduates' moment, not the parents/friends/family. I realize they were excited but couldn’t they wait until after the ceremony to show it? I will say at least none of the “fans” went streaking on the field as they might do at a baseball game, so they had slightly more class than the bleacher creatures, which isn’t saying much.

Hello Goodbye (The Obligatory summer post)

My usually messy room is now a barren wasteland. The drawers are empty, there is a void where the fridge used to be, and my TV is in bubble wrap. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t sell my stuff off to quench my constant thirst for money (although if anyone would like to buy an unused safe and come get it from my room....). No, despite the fact that it snowed in Ithaca Saturday night, summer is upon us.

I have entirely mixed feelings about summer. On the one hand, there is being reunited with my family after being apart from them for a year. Believe it or not, I miss my dad’s weekly comic book runs and my mom’s constant need for technological help.My sister is graduating this summer as well, and I couldn’t be more excited for her. There are my high school friends, who I have missed more than I thought I would. There was a time when playing one more video game in someone’s basement would have driven me insane, now I haven’t played a console video game in nearly a year and am itching to do so. 

There is a job which most people wouldn’t find exciting, but I do because it means I won’t be sitting bored at home all summer. There is Lollapalooza, which will be my first trip out of New York State without my parents, and whose lineup makes me show the slightest bit of excitement (my equivalent of a fangirl scream). Oh and before that, I suppose there is my birthday with the fireworks and all. Is it just me though or does 19 really not seem like a big deal? Like, great, you’re a year between 18 and 20, who cares?

The negative side is that I will be away from Ithaca for three months. Freshman year may have been a lot of ups and downs, but I made a decent amount of friends here who I will miss a lot over the summer. Whether it’s something as ordinary as going to the movies, or as wacky some of the conversations that have happened at late night/in the lounge, you guys always makes me laugh. Hell, I will even miss the random intrusions by the cops at our dance parties during finals week.

It feels like just when I was getting settled in here, I am going away for a very long time. However, I leave very excited for sophomore year and all the things that will happen then.  I refuse to say “bye” to any of you, because I will see you in 3 months, when college has gotten a little more SOPHisticated for us all. 

So Long And Thanks For All The Kibble And Bits

I looooove dogs. Just ask anyone who knows me, I’ve always had dogs in my life. I'm pretty sure before mommy or daddy, one of my first words was puppy! 

Being such a dog lover, I talk to my dogs A LOT. The other day, I found myself wondering when baby talking to my puppy, what if he could talk back? What would he sound like? Would he have a rich deep voice like Barry White’s? Or sound more like Mickey Mouse? Would he be intelligent sounding or would every word out of his mouth be “squirrel!”?

Would my other dog, the female Golden Retriever be a dumb blonde as many suggest she is? I can just imagine her talking to her other doggy friends about how they need to get their nails done, go in for a grooming, and shop for the latest doggy purse accessories (they exist, I know because she had one as a puppy). Would the puppy who is an English Cream Golden Retriever be a prep as everyone suggests he would? Would that mean he buys all his gear from Abercrombie & Fetch? 

What about us? Would we really feel safe in our own homes if dog could talk? I mean think about all the embarrassing things you do in front of your pet. Would you really want them gossiping with other pets about the things they see you do? For me, that would mean my dogs gossiping about how badly I dance sometimes when I think no one is watching.

I can only imagine talking to my dog as I sometimes did in high school about whatever social problem I was having at the time, and her saying,“God, you’re so annoying”.Maybe it’s for the best that animals don’t speak. Maybe we love them so much because we have no way of knowing what they truly think about us, and that way we can just say they love us as much as we love them. All I know is when my dogs start speaking, I’ll be needing a paper bag to wear over my head in public.

You're My Sugar Pop Honey Bear

You’re My Sugar Pop Honey Bear

Everyone has been called a cutesy nickname at some point in their life. Whether it was being called “baby”, “sugar”, “honey”, “kiddo”, “sweetie “ or anything of the sort we’ve all heard it.These names make me cringe any time anyone calls me them personally, and it’s not because I have a general dislike of cutesy things. In fact, I’d say for a guy, I have an unnatural appreciation of romantic comedies and Disney movies (even going so far as being able to sing some of the Disney songs in full). 

No, it’s not because they are cutesy. It took me a while to figure out why being called any of the pet names listed above made my skin crawl, but I finally figured it out. It’s because of the context in which they are being used. 

If I am dating a girl, I want to be anything but a baby. Call it an innate desire to be macho if you will, but I seriously just can’t imagine a situation where being called baby doesn’t demean someone. It’s not just guys, but girls too. Being called baby is demeaning because it somehow undermines your intelligence. Maybe it’s just the mental imagery, but something seems wrong about dating a “baby” when you’re over 18.

The same can be said of honey or any other pet names you’re significant other may deem it appropriate to call you. My ex-girlfriend had a thing for calling me “Foofy” a shortened version of Little Bunny Foo Foo. It bothered me to high hell, but I’m a teenage boy and I did what any other teenage boy would have done in my situation: I sucked it up because being with the girl was obviously more important than my own dignity! Certain nicknames I’d be ok with but not ones that make me sound like I’m a cartoon character from a show intended for kids who still make macaroni art.

“Kiddo” bothers me for a slightly different yet similar reason.That’s because “kiddo” isn’t used in a romantic context, but it’s often used by adults to address people of younger generations. The use of “kiddo” similar to the use of “baby” also demeans the intelligence of the person you are directing it at it. It may be ok to call someone who is  sixteen “kiddo”, but I believe once you become a senior in high school you deserve a certain amount of respect. Or at the very least if young adults are allowed to be called “kiddo”, we should have a weapon we could throw back at adults like: “Hey, how are you doing today, oldie?”

Pet names just seem unnecessary, but maybe this is just an aversion on my part to anything that is too cutesy. However, there is a fine line in my opinion between having some cute moments and taking it over the top. Pet names take cutesy way over the top and into orbit around the moon. You should be sweet to your significant other and dote on them occasionally, but do not talk to them the way I talk to my puppy at home.